Fact: In just 20 years, I am the only one left in a happy family of seven. The reason is tearful
Dictation: Ding Jiafen Text: Zhou Yujiang Photo: from the network every festival times miss relatives.Tomb-sweeping Day is coming, these days, my heart like a needle fire singeing uncomfortable.I’ve been like this for years, and every traditional festival to honor my loved ones has been a bitter day for me.Recently, all I can think about is the tragic experience of my parents and brothers, wandering in the haze of pain, unable to extricate myself.The pain, so that I just in the early 50s of the woman, suffering from serious depression, long-term insomnia, then all day trance, consciousness, like the soul out of the body of the walking dead.My husband and children, all day long exhorted me to forget the past, happy life.But no one knows the pain in his heart, though his husband and his children are near and dear.But the relief they gave me, it doesn’t erase the deep sadness I felt for my family, who died so tragically.They didn’t die of normal diseases. They died in a horrible way.In 1972, my mother was married by a matchmaker to a village across the river.Though arranged by their parents and matchmaker, they fell in love with each other at first sight.At that time, my grandfather was an old party secretary in the village, and his family was relatively privileged. He asked a matchmaker to introduce my mother to his son.My mother was trim and regular when she was young.He was a good girl from the surrounding villages, and my father was also strong and handsome, with thick eyebrows and big eyes.And was a rare rural high school graduates.My village because of agriculture dazhai do well, the county awarded a tractor.My father became a tractor driver, and my mother arranged to make clothes in the village sewing group, which was of course a blessing for my grandfather, who was a party secretary.The villagers are naturally envious and jealous with hatred.But the good times did not last long, the next thing happened, but from now on changed the fate of my family.At that time, the village used a liquid fertilizer called ammonia for farming.The nature of this fertilizer like sulfuric acid, it volatilized out of the smell of choking people tears dc, gasping, not careful to get the skin will be like fire burning, until the skin fester.A man in the village was stung by a mountain scorpion and jumped in pain.His mother had heard that ammonia was detoxifying, so she rubbed it on her stung finger. The pain stopped on the spot, but the next day, her finger was completely black, and she had to amputate it, becoming disabled.Thus, ammonia is toxic, but miraculously, it is cheap and high quality good nitrogen fertilizer, used in crops, significant results.The tractor in the village is equipped with a large skin bag to pull ammonia water in the county ammonia water plant, which is one of the main tasks of the machine operator.My father went to get some ammonia, and on the way back he had a car accident. The ammonia capsule burst, and the ammonia poured into my father’s face, and he was burned alive on the spot.When my family arrived and saw my father burned to death, my grandmother and my mother fainted on the spot.I was only two months old.A year later, my grandfather and my grandfather decided to let my mother marry my second uncle.My grandfather did my niang’s job, my niang said, I’m good to say, afraid wronged ni (refers to me) her uncle, he just 20 years old, still in high school, this kind of thing can not reluctantly.My grandpa and my uncle had a conversation: grandpa said, your brother left, your sister-in-law is so wise and capable, our family can not bear to remarry her.Changed to marry afraid ni also wronged, I want you to marry your sister-in-law.My uncle listened to such as thunder, a bottom sitting on the ground, immediately jumped up again, excited red face, incoherently shouted, I do not agree, resolutely disagree, she is my sister-in-law, I can do so?Besides, I didn’t want to get married. I wanted to join the army after graduation.Yes, yes, yes, no, it’s not up to you!My grandfather said a little fiercely.He had been the village secretary for many years. He was a man of his word and never allowed anyone to refute anything, let alone his own son.While wiping tears, grandma said to my uncle, “Your sister-in-law is a good woman who is hard to find, and your niece is lovely. Can we be willing to let them marry her?Besides, even if you were a soldier, you’d come back out of uniform and still get a hoe?You may not find a woman as desirable as your sister-in-law then.Son, you depend on us, since your brother left, our hearts are broken, your sister-in-law left the door again, your father and I can not live.Then he began to howl.Frightened by my father’s majesty and my poor mother’s misery, my uncle had no choice but to agree against his will.After their marriage, my mother felt indebted to my uncle and treated him as gently as possible. When he came back from school (grandpa had arranged for him to be a private teacher), he always greeted him with a smile and served delicious food quickly.Wash his clothes, fold them up neatly, and lay them by his pillow, and prepare them in the evening with lukewarm water to warm his feet.Before long, our relationship was strong, and the next year my brother was born.Fast forward to 1981, when my brother and I entered school at the same time, I was ten years old and my brother was eight years old (grandpa had arranged for us to attend school at the same time).But that same year, my grandfather died of stomach cancer.Commune leaders, specially to the village opened a memorial service, then I know, grandpa is a veteran.A small bag of military MEDALS was found among his belongings, most notably MEDALS from the Battle of Shenyang and the Battle of Tieyuan.Grandpa is outspoken, hatred of evil, although decades of village cadres, to the village for a lot of welfare, but also offended a lot of people.This is the case with rural cadres. When you are in power, some people try their best to flatter and flatter others. Once they step down or die, they turn their faces against others.The new office of the village secretary, the original deputy, because of sexual relations between men and women, my grandfather scolded a few words, kicked two feet, then hold a grudge, waiting for the opportunity to revenge.Less than half a year after my grandfather’s death, he bribed the cultural and education cadres of the commune and took down my uncle’s private teacher on the grounds that my grandfather used his power for personal gain.Later change a village youth, and then this youth became his son-in-law.It was obvious that he had planned it for a long time.At that time, it was already dry, but my family was allocated a barren and thin plot of land that they did not want, and the area was not enough.My uncle went to the cadres who distributed the fields, but they said, “Not a penny will make a difference.”It is no longer the time when your father was in power to eat too much and take too much. My uncle was speechless and could only sulk. He knew that this was the result of his father having offended others when he was a cadre.When the cabbage and radish we planted were about to be harvested, they were smashed to pieces with a shovel. My grandmother was standing in the vegetable field crying.What’s more, one year our ricks were set on fire.We found the village cadres, and reported to the police, because there is no conclusive evidence, and finally can only let it go.In fact, the village is like a mirror in the heart, that is the person who calls Yuquan stem.He was sentenced to three years in prison, resulting in a bad reputation. Nearly forty years old, he is still a bachelor. He has been bearing a grudge against my family, only to retaliate against us again and again, but what can we do to such a rascals?After a few years, the market completely opened, my uncle my niang on the drive four sets, to the person on the spot tailored cut clothes, have to idle busy planting that several acres of thin field.Although it paid for the two of us to go to school, because of the low tuition, life was tolerable.But never thought of is, another disaster came to my head.In the spring of 1987, when my uncle came back from a market trip, he suddenly felt uncomfortable in his stomach and there was blood in his stool. He thought it was hemorrhoids at first and didn’t care.Can continue six or seven days of blood in the stool, and the amount is more and more large, my niang hurried to the county hospital with him to do an examination, the result is terminal gastric cancer.My mother sat on the ground, only feel the sky spinning, a blank brain, she wanted to cry without tears to stare at a place, the brain numb to think, our family this is how, less than 20 years, four live people, we are going to die, this is why?(My grandmother died two years ago.) Later I realized that stomach cancer runs in my family. My uncle, my grandfather, and even my grandfather died from it, and if my father hadn’t died in an accident, he would probably have suffered from it too.Before he died, uncle told my mother that he must let his two children go to college and get rid of our sad hometown.’My father has been a party secretary for decades,’ he said. ‘He has offended too many people and accumulated too much resentment. We will never get out of this village.’To tell the truth, if you offend someone in the countryside, even after several lifetimes, they will seek revenge, this matter, the rural people understand very well.As my uncle was a teacher, he was very strict with our study, and the guidance was also in place seriously, which laid a good foundation for us. My sister and brother’s academic performance has always been among the best.In 1991, we with excellent results, admitted to the county in the town of the second middle school.Due to financial constraints, my mother sold the five big tile-roofed houses built by my grandfather and bought two small straw houses to live in, with the money for our education.If some of the things that had happened to us had torn our family apart, what happened to my home on June 9, 1992, was a catastrophe that destroyed our family and never existed again.Village a more than 40 years old pig killing carpenter named Jinbiao, he very early to niang have outrageous ideas.After the death of my uncle, he felt that he had an opportunity to molest my mother three times and was scolded by my mother.On the night of June 9, 1992, after drinking a lot of wine, he had a fit of animal spirit. He came to the door of the two straw houses without courtyard walls. With a dagger he brought at hand, he opened the latch and attacked my mother, who had been working hard all day and was fast asleep.This scene, just by my school back home dry food brother caught (at that time poor students are from home to bring dry food to school).Brother see mother under the ravaged and obscene, an original save mother in fire and water, manly feral surges between chest, he didn’t want to think, find a bottle from the table, ruthlessly Jin Biao the back of the head, because of the too hard and it is between the night, hit enough accurate, the bottle only one side in the back of his head, did not have the effect of effectively combat.Angry jinbiao, quickly climbed up from the kang, cursed ferociously, while tightly choking my brother’s neck, hard to hit the wall.By JinBiao toss has been paralyzed mother, has been all of a sudden happened in front of everything, surprised lithead, when she came back, from kang to touch a pair of scissors to stab JinBiao save son, has been late, brother has been frenzied JinBiao alive strangle.Already awake jinBiao know to get a life, then fled in panic.When my mother saw her 18-year-old son lying dead on the ground, her heart broke and her heart burned.The mother, unable to bear the pain of losing her only son, punctured her wrist artery with scissors without hesitation, held her son tightly and walked to another world.This is the tragedy that we have never happened here, alerted the provincial public security department, the city public Security Bureau, a few days jin Biao was arrested in Lingshou County, Hebei Province, was sentenced to death immediately executed.This is my tragic family history, in 20 years, grandpa, grandma, father, uncle, mother, brother, all kinds of reasons, have passed away, which is probably extremely rare in the country.Thirty years later, I’m a wife and mother, and I’m happy with my life.But my heart bleeds at the thought of my family gone and being alone.At ordinary times, deliberately depressed did not dare to think about these things, can be a Spring Festival, tomb-sweeping day to the grave worship of the deceased, my viscera like being tightly tied, a little touched, tears gushed into my heart.I don’t know when I’ll ever get over the loss of so many people.Perhaps the rest of my life is spent in this pain.There is also the genetic gene of gastric cancer in my body, and I do not know which day, death will care for me, and I can only cherish every day now, let nature take its course and leave it to fate.