There is a kind of person who is friendly but always keeps to himself

2022-07-21 0 By

Are you the kind of person who is nice to people but likes to keep to yourself?You usually do not conflict with others, including arguments and actions, and can properly handle the relationship with everyone.But most of the time you like to be alone and enjoy being by yourself.Then, you might label yourself as a social phobic, when in fact you’re not a social phobic, you’re a friendly loner.Being friendly to others is self-cultivation, being independent is character, and the two do not conflict.Just because you’re a loner doesn’t mean you’re not good at socializing and performing. You can easily switch into conversational mode, but you’re no longer interested in being the center of attention to a group of unrelated people.You are usually kind to others, can understand most people’s behavior, but do not go along with them, do not want to be discussed, also do not want to see others lively.Although you are very gentle, but do not show to everyone, of course, not everyone can read your gentle.So you choose to be gentle and warm with only a few people, and for the rest of the majority, you remain polite and rational.Human nature has a basic need, is to need people around him to have a sense of identity.Therefore, ordinary people need to show themselves through social interaction, which is actually a manifestation of inner weakness.For a mentally strong person, they no longer need recognition from those around them, they need more recognition from themselves.Therefore they no longer seek from abroad, but rather seek from within.Solitude is the expression of a person who begins to seek inward.Then there are the extroverted loners.They always show a lively and cheerful, sociable state, always bring all kinds of happiness, and positive energy.But each time after the end, they will enter a lonely state.In fact, their grinning appearance is an illusion, just to cover up their inner loneliness.Think of these two situations: In a meeting: You know you don’t like him and you know he doesn’t like you and you know he knows you don’t like him and he knows you know he doesn’t like you but that doesn’t stop you from having a good time together.A party: you know that you will not contact him after you add his wechat account, and you know that you will not contact him after you add your wechat account. You all know that after you add your wechat account, the most you can do is to “like”, but this does not prevent you from adding friends with wechat account. This is modern social communication.In front of the crowd, turned words desolate.The more lonely people are, the more they like to be busy.Because busy can let a person temporary escape lonely.When I was young, I thought I could save the world, but now I find that the whole world can’t save me.– A netizen.The most expensive tax in the world is called the Cognition tax. Everyone pays for their cognition!In the animal world, weak animals are always in groups, such as chickens, ducks, geese, cows, sheep and horses. They need to unite to protect themselves.And powerful animals are always alone, like tigers, leopards, jackals and lions, they are always alone.In college, freshmen and sophomores were in groups.That’s because they’re still adjusting to a new environment and instinctively need to get organized.And junior and senior students are all alone, that is because they have become “veteran”, so independent of each other, maintain boundaries.Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely, but it’s easier to let go of your heart.In the same way, being noisy in a crowd is not a sign of approval, it’s more of an external noise.Therefore, there is a saying: loneliness is the carnival of one person, carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.We must also discover a law of social development: in the past, due to the constraints of regions and conditions, everyone always stays in the circle of the people closest to him, such as colleagues, peers, classmates, relatives and so on.As the Internet developed, we no longer subject to the real conditions of the circle area, those who have the common language/like-minded people more easily together, although you may be completely different industry, even you live far apart, but the same “cognitive” and “through” fit for your attracted to each other.So we are in a meeting/dinner, often found that some people have been holding the phone to chat, but turn a blind eye to people of face, it is not a “mobile phone disease”, it means that he has no interest in you that “the present”, this is the result of the development of the Internet, is also the progress of human civilization.So, when you see someone who keeps to himself, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a circle of friends.It’s because you’re not in his circle.Even though you are close, you are from two different worlds.It will become more common for different minds to work together.4. The more backward the society is, the more cohesive people are. For example, in the primitive society, people must unite to resist the attack of wild animals, but in the more developed society, people are more independent.The more productive the people become, the more they have a sense of boundaries.There was a question: why do so many people like to sit alone in the car for a while when they get home?Some people say: I’m tired of driving and need a rest.Some people say: need a cigarette to relieve the stress of the day.Some people say: do not like their exhaustion to be seen by wife and children.There is only one answer, which has been praised by countless people: when you step into your home, you are the father, you are the mother, you are the dutiful son, you have the whole body of responsibility, only when you are alone in the car, you are yourself, that is your own world.Yes, no matter how busy we are, we need to take a breath of time, and then summon up the courage to hold on to the next breath, as long as a little rest, we have to rebuild the courage and confidence in the face of life, this is alive.Even in marriage, we still want a sense of boundaries.Even with a family, we still need our own world.Even with all our responsibilities, we still need to be ourselves.The basic unit of the future society will no longer be the enterprise, nor the family, but the “individual”.Strong people become whole and independent.Only when one has achieved personality independence and economic independence can one be qualified to talk about love/family love/friendship.In the future marriage will die, but love lives on;Families will disappear in the future, but the kinship will last forever.Our emotions will no longer be bound by these external forms, and society will become more and more pure.5 people’s time can be divided into three parts: the first part is to accompany customers/leaders.The second is to spend time with parents/children and the third is to spend time with myself.The more successful a person is, the more backward his time is tilted.The essence of struggle is to transfer the time of the first to the next two.For example, we work hard to make money so that we can spend more time with our children and family.The most difficult thing in life is to be “with yourself”.Being with yourself sounds simple, but it’s actually very difficult.Most people work all their lives, they live for others, they live for their families, but they never live for themselves.Just think, we work so hard to make money, we earn so much money, how much money is spent on ourselves?How much can we spend in our lifetime?To be with yourself.First you have to know yourself.We spend a lifetime studying other people and understanding them, but few of us can understand ourselves.Second, you can also be yourself. Most of the time, we are all playing different roles. We are bosses, leaders, employees, fathers, sons, but very rarely ourselves.In other words, only when we have fulfilled all our social obligations do we have the time to be ourselves and the right to be ourselves.To be yourself is the most luxurious thing in the world.The most romantic thing in the world is to meet the best of yourself.The highest state of love is to fall in love with yourself.Warriors of life, may you take off your armor and return as a teenager.The most expensive tax in the world is the “cognition tax”, which you pay for your whole life!Buy Shuimuran’s awareness column