The Terrible Power of Suggestion: 3 Things never to say to a child…

2022-05-02 0 By

There are many parents who are particularly fond of “labeling” their children.For example, when you see a child did not get a question right, you say: “Why can’t you turn your brain?This problem is so easy, really not a piece of reading material.”See the child run not as fast as others, say: “see you this hands and feet not coordinated appearance, a little sports talent all have no.”Perhaps the parents were only half-joking and did not mean to scold the child.But I urge you to stop saying that.It’s not so much that the words are outrageous, but that the child is young and in a critical period of character building.Parents any words of encouragement or scolding, will give him a strong “psychological hint”.Especially those relatively negative words, children will be more impressed.Every time he did math problems, he remembered his mother said he was “stupid”, so dare not write to do the problem, began to escape, delay.The impact of this suggestion can stay with the child for a long time, even a lifetime.According to a survey of 2,006 young people published by China Youth Daily recently, more than 90 percent said they had received “harsh education” from their parents.Nearly 60 percent said the experience of being knocked down left them lacking confidence and prone to self-denial.This kind of percussion education, to put it bluntly, is a kind of behavior that constantly imposes negative psychological hints on children.Always telling kids this can’t be done, that can’t be done.Over time, the child will become really bad.But if every parent, instead of saying “stupid” to their kids, said “awesome,” the difference would be huge.I don’t know if you’ve heard of a kid named Jacob Barnett.He has an IQ of 170+, higher than Albert Einstein.At the age of eight, he taught himself everything from elementary school to high school and audited the physics department at Indiana University.At the age of 10, he was admitted to Purdue University, one of the world’s top science and engineering universities.When he was 13 years old, he caused a stir in the American media by releasing a video that publicly refuted the theory of relativity.But it is such a rare genius in physics, but it is a “problem boy”.Jacob was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was 2 years old.His motor coordination was poor, and even as a teenager, he still couldn’t tie his shoelaces and wore flip-flops everywhere he went.His social skills are almost zero, making it difficult for him to communicate with other small friends.Many families in the face of such children, will show disheartened, or even give up the child’s cultivation.But Jacob’s mother never gave up. Instead, she stayed with him and encouraged him.After discovering his great interest in physical knowledge, I guided him to develop more in this field.Later, with his mother’s encouragement, Jacob became more confident in his ability to do well.That’s how we got Jacob Barnett, the child prodigy.Russian psychologist Pavlov once said, “Suggestion is the simplest and most typical of human reflexes.”Whatever parents say or do may have a great influence on their children.Saying demeaning things can make a child feel more and more like “that’s who I am.”Especially the following “hint” a few words, the biggest negative impact on children!01. “You’re so stupid!”Children and plants alike, each “plant” grows at a different pace.Some children grow fast, some children grow slowly.But we should not constantly feed our children ideas like “you are stupid” just because they grow up slowly, which will cause them to have self-doubt and start to become less confident.That way, even if he’s a kid with potential, he’ll lose a little bit of his desire to express himself under the sound of blows.02. “Why are you just like your dad?Lazy!”It is often said that parents are the first teachers of their children.In the hearts of children, everything will be their parents as an example.But some parents often use words to attack each other when they are in conflict.In the process of teaching children, they often use the other hand as a negative example.This will bring a lot of bad influence to the children.Lower the authority of parents in children’s mind, parent-child relationship becomes more tense and children will have self-doubt, always wondering if they are like the parents said, become low self-esteem, struggle. It is normal for couples to have conflicts, but it is best not to fight in front of the children.In the process of parenting, try to show your child the good side of the parent by saying, “Great!Strong and caring like my father!””Good boy, loving and polite as your mother!”More positive hints to children, children will become more sensible, more efforts.03. “Why are you proud of this?”Many people like to use “percussion education” to educate their children, think they are for their children’s good, but the children do not buy it.Why is that?In essence, this is a conflict between two educational concepts.The child thinks that if he does well, he should be praised so that he will be more motivated to do it.Parents, on the other hand, think that the child is doing well, but there is still room for improvement, and it is necessary to push him more.Parents have good intentions, but children are not appendages, we can not impose our own ideas on him.It is better to follow the logic of the child to do, when the child has done well, give the child some praise, let the child feel that “my efforts are not in vain”.It is not too late for us to find ways to guide our children when they encounter difficulties.How to give children a positive psychological suggestion?I have seen a variety about parent-child education, there is such a bridge impressive.Guest Fu Seoul accompanied a child to write homework, thought he was very serious, he praised him aloud.But the child was aggrieved and said, “My mother says I am not good, every day.”Because his mother thinks, she always praises him, will make him “proud”, can no longer study hard.As a result, the child is extremely insecure both in the program and in daily life.In fact, this is the psychological suggestion to children bring negative effects.Fu Seoul also noticed this and began to encourage the child: “Do you know why your mother gives you so much homework?Because you are so smart, doing homework is so easy, you can calculate as fast as Teacher Fu, in ancient times you can make money.”After listening to these words, the child obviously became happy, the speed of writing homework also accelerated, soon all finished.His mother saw the child’s action, some can not believe: did not expect to urge the child, not to scold the child, he can finish the homework, and faster!This is the power of positive cues.So if you want your child to be more active, you must learn to appreciate your child.Identify your child’s strengths and encourage him to increase his sense of satisfaction and self-confidence.In this way, he can always keep an enterprising heart and meet every challenge in the future.