Phoenix male dilemma: my mother connived at relatives to feed my 1 year old daughter’s hatred of wine, the wife recorded for 3 years

2022-04-26 0 By

Reading this headline, do you think the daughter-in-law’s refusal to forgive her mother-in-law is a storm in a teacup?Writer Zhou Chong put it perfectly: “The happiness of a person’s life will plummet if he or she has a few relatives of bears.”As the year draws near and we return home, we inevitably have to deal with relatives.Some relative simplicity, treats you like a family, only talk about feelings do not talk about interests and even heart care about you, provide you with help, you can reach such relatives, is our blessing, however, some relatives, like his own happiness based on others’ suffering, difficult for you, affect your life.When they feed their young children alcohol or something inedible, their intention is not for their own good, but for fun, and they often fail to consider or care whether the child is in danger.And the child is exactly the biggest weakness of the woman, the woman is soft, as a mother is just, as a mother, who is not good to her child, she can not continue to be indifferent.Recently, WHEN I went shopping, I met my junior high school classmate Zhou Chen and exchanged a few pleasantries.When I asked if his wife had come back, Zhou Chen poured out his bitterness to me, telling me that he was caught between his mother and his wife: “My mother connived at her relatives’ hatred of feeding my 1-year-old daughter wine. My wife has been keeping a record of it for three years, and I have become a sandwich cake.My mother and my wife have been in conflict for a long time.Zhou Chen is a villager of mine from a poor family. At the beginning, zhou Chen’s parents were farmers who depended on the weather to make a living. When Zhou Chen was 4 years old, zhou Chen’s father left home with some peers and went to work in the city.Zhou Chen is the same age as me. He has always been the leader among his peers with excellent academic performance and high income. He has been admitted to a good university and works in a second-tier city with an annual salary exceeding 300,000 yuan.Have a wife have a female, have a house have a car, successful career, is the pride of parents, Zhou Chen let us these peers feel very envious, but, Zhou Chen met a worry, that is the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.”The feud between my mother and my wife started when I got married because my mother didn’t think my wife was good enough for me.In her opinion, I should have married a city only child who did not want a dowry price, a dowry house, who was submissive to men and in-laws and volunteered to serve them so that they could enjoy their happiness, rather than a girl from a similar family who wanted both a dowry price and a dowry house and refused to take them in.”In addition, when Zhou Chen’s mother first saw her daughter-in-law, she decided that she did not have the life to give birth to a son and resolutely opposed the marriage.After the granddaughter was born, Zhou Chen’s mother felt more and more that the daughter-in-law should not marry, more and more dislike daughter-in-law, fortunately, Zhou Chen’s family of three do not live with their parents, conflicts are not too much, until the Chinese New Year.My mother connived with relatives to feed my daughter wine, and my wife treated her as her enemy.Three years ago, Zhou Chen and his wife took their 1-year-old daughter back to their hometown for a family reunion.Since their family of three arrived home, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law began to highlight.As soon as the daughter-in-law had finished packing and putting things away, Zhou Chen’s mother asked her to go into the kitchen and cook.Every morning at six o ‘clock, he would go upstairs to knock on the door and call his daughter-in-law to get up, clean and do housework, which made Zhou Chen’s wife feel tired.Zhou Chen could not bear to watch, so he grabbed his daughter-in-law’s hand and began to work himself, pleasing both sides, until the third day of the Chinese New Year.On the third day of the Chinese New Year, many relatives visit our house and have dinner together. Zhou and his wife are busy in the kitchen preparing lunch for the family of 12.They were too busy to touch the ground when they heard the cries of their one-year-old daughter.”I rushed out with my wife to see, I saw not to say my wife I am quick to be angry to death of the scene, my uncle holding my daughter, right hand holding a wine cup, to my daughter’s mouth, other people especially my parents saw, also do not stop, happy to laugh.My daughter is only one year old!How can you drink?Who is responsible for the accident?””What do you want?Zhou’s wife pounced, snatched their daughter and slapped the relative who was feeding her alcohol.The relative was beaten meng, reaction after the gas flushed, want to zhou Chen wife start, zhou Chen grasp the wrist, can not move.”You shrew, have you any tutors?Do you respect your elders?How dare you hit your elders?It’s the opposite of heaven.”Zhou Chen’s mother was very angry when she saw that her daughter-in-law had “offended” the elders and made them lose face. She slapped the table to scold her daughter-in-law.When Zhou asked her mother why she allowed relatives to feed her daughter alcohol, she said, “It’s just a joke. What’s the big deal?You were fed when you were a kid, and nothing happened.A girl film, is worth so coddled?”Either we go back home, or we don’t go back home, there is no way to go back to your home, the wife’s attitude as always;”This home, I do not want to stay a moment, will you go with us mother and daughter?”Zhou Chen’s mother heard her daughter-in-law this sentence, while floating out of the mouth more unbearable dirty words, while pulling his son did not let his son go.Fortunately, Zhou Chen, who loved his daughter dearly and could not tolerate their behavior, broke away from his mother’s hand, took his wife into the car and drove away.After Zhou left, his parents called many times, accusing their son and daughter-in-law of embarrassing them and demanding that they hurry back and apologize to relatives.Zhou Chen and his wife did not ignore them, his wife is even the face of the in-laws do not want to see.Three years passed, the wife’s anger is still not gone, when her husband advised her to go back to see, the first reaction is to refuse.”Either we go back home or we don’t go back at all. If you want to visit your parents, I won’t stop you. You drive back and I’ll buy a high-speed train ticket and take my daughter to visit my parents’ home.”You haven’t been back to see my parents for three years. During this time, my parents came to visit us in the city, and you treated them coldly, not giving them a chance to be close to our daughter. They were really sad.Or, this time you give me some face, go back with me, and reconcile with my parents, don’t let me in a dilemma, ok?”No matter how many times Zhou tried to persuade her, his wife was still adamant and refused to go back. “I don’t want to put you in an awkward position, but it was your parents who made the mistake first. They haven’t realized their mistake until now and are bad-mouthing everyone everywhere.I bowed my head, is not to admit that I make trouble without reason?”Zhou Chen’s wife had a very clear attitude. Her husband was a son, so he should be dutiful to his parents. He should give money to his in-laws, buy gifts for them and visit them.Contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law sharp, Zhou Chen felt in a dilemma: “I have been suffering from splint gas, really enough.All blame my mother, I really don’t understand, she so to my daughter-in-law and my daughter, is hoping I divorce?Is it good for her that I’m divorced?”The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is essentially a triangle, so in the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, three people are all losers.As Susan Foward puts it: “For manipulative parents, their children’s marriages are extremely threatening.They see their spouse as a rival for their child’s affection, and the child is often at war on both sides in order to balance the relationship.”The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is essentially a triangle, consisting of the mother-in-law, the man and the daughter-in-law, and the man is the key to reconciling the two women and making them live in harmony.At the same time, if the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is acute, not only mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be able to live a good life, but also men.One side is his own mother, accounted for the filial piety, one side is his wife, accounted for the affection, to help which, are the problem, will offend the other side, let them feel pain.As Eileen Chang once said, “A middle-aged man often feels lonely, because as soon as he opens his eyes, he is surrounded by people who depend on him, but there is no one he can rely on.”In the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, three people are all losers. Therefore, I hope that you, as a mother, will show your son a love and don’t fight with his daughter-in-law, so as not to ruin his family.Topic: Do you think Zhou Chen’s wife’s refusal to forgive her mother-in-law is making a mountain out of a molehill?Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.